We all get angry at work sometimes. But smart managers don’t let their emotions get out of control. Before exploding at an employee or co-worker, remember this advice:
- Pay attention to your behavior. What’s your tone of voice? What is your body language saying to the other person? Focusing on your reactions and emotions will help you stay calm.
- Watch and listen. What do the other person’s tone and body language tell you? Try to discern whether the other person wants something from you that he or she isn’t asking for. (An employee may be afraid to challenge your authority directly, for example.)
- Stay positive. With a deep breath or two, try to control the impulse that makes you fight back. Try to find something positive, even just the fact that you’re gaining experience dealing with conflict.
- Focus on the here and now. Don’t bring up problems or disagreements from the past. Stick to the present situation. Keep words like “always” and “never” out of the conversation—like, “You’re always late to work”—to avoid blowing the argument out of proportion.
- Ask yourself, “Would I rather be right or happy?” In some cases being right may be more important—when dealing with safety issues, for instance. In other situations, you might be better off letting the other person win.
- Take responsibility for communication. As a leader, you have to clear the air—even if the other person tries to let the problem drop. Insist on an open, honest dialogue that lets everyone express his or her needs and opinions honestly.