How to Talk to Your Employees About a Mistake Printer friendly format
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It can be important to focus on what people do wrong. But if we’re not careful, we can bring them down, destroy self-esteem, or harm our long-term relationships with employees. Here are 3 ways to best speak with your employees about a mistake. 

My husband is one of the coaches on our son’s football team. We lost last Saturday, 43 - 0. The loss felt as bad as it sounds. As I am writing this, my husband is sitting in front of the computer with my son watching game film, pointing out everything my son did wrong.
 
My son’s body language and tone told me my husband was bringing him down. Here’s why I’m sharing this with you: when you are speaking with your employees either about a mistake or to offer constructive feedback, be sure not to focus only on what they are doing wrong.
 
I realize that it can be important to focus on what people do wrong. But if we’re not careful, we can bring them down, destroy self-esteem, or harm our long-term relationships with employees.
 
Here are 3 ways to best speak with your employees about a mistake.
 
1.    Talk to your employees about what they’re doing right. Something like this.
 
“Mrs. Jones was a tough customer. I appreciate the way you allowed her to vent, offering simple reassurances while she talked. You did a great job of controlling the conversation with her. I know that wasn’t easy.”
 
When you tell employees what they’re doing right, be genuine and be specific.
 
2.    After you’ve given them genuine praise, then let them know what they can improve upon.
 
“One thing I noticed when I listened to your entire call with Ms. Jones is that you didn’t take the opportunity to convey empathy. When she said, ‘This is so frustrating! I have submitted my claim form. I sent the pictures you requested. I’ve had to call you guys three times now,’ you simply went on to explain what she needed to do next. That was the perfect opportunity to convey empathy. I want to role-play with you to explore how you could have expressed empathy in this situation.”
 
3.    Give constructive feedback in such a way that you build up your employees and maintain their esteem.
 
When discussing mistakes, focus on maintaining and strengthening the relationship. Be careful not to tear your employee down. Watch your employee’s body language to make sure they aren’t shutting you out. The goal is for your employee to walk away from the discussion feeling good and inspired to make positive changes.
 
I just crept up to check on my son. I paused in the hallway and listened to my husband talking to him. “It’s the little things, man. Those little things added up and cost us the game. Fix the little things and we’ll be alright.” My son was fine and my husband is a better coach than I gave him credit for.